Owning Your Home

Home for Good: Principles for Making Relationships Work

Children benefit by having two caring adults in the home. So whether you are working through tough times with a spouse, or sharing your home with a parent or family member, it's important to pay attention to the adult relationships in your household.

We will discuss common-sense ways of maintaining healthy communication with the adults in your home, including:

  • Setting aside time to be away from the children
  • Being accountable for a fair share of household chores
  • Clear parenting strategies to present a unified front

It's important to make sure that the children do not run your household. Through better communication between caring adults, you can create a stable home environment.

Setting Aside Time to Be Away From the Children

Daily life can be really hectic. Between children’s schedules, work obligations, and household chores, it can feel like there’s very little time to do anything else. But in order to maintain healthy adult relationships in your home, you have to make sure to set aside time to be away from the children.

For spouses, this can be for romance or relaxation. Deciding to reconnect as a couple requires two people. We discuss ways to talk to your partner and arrange your life to preserve this precious time together.

For other adults in the home -- grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, and roommates -- sharing a living space means sharing your lives together. It’s important to find common interests and to spend time together outside the home. This can strengthen your bond and help you create a functional, healthy household.

Being Accountable for a Fair Share of Household Chores

It may seem silly, but household chores is a huge area of conflict for couples and roommates. It’s very helpful to come up with a plan to tackle the daily chores, with the work divvied up fairly between all members of the home, including children.

Through this careful planning, you will teach your children the importance of keeping your home clean and tidy, as well as demonstrate successful cooperation between adults and children in the household

Some of the things we discuss include:

  • Having a public list of household chores and holding everyone accountable
  • Getting children to agree to take on additional chores
  • Providing incentives to everyone to finish on time

These chores do not have to be a burden. When everyone contributes equally, it can be a very successful way to model teamwork and collaboration.

Clear Parenting Strategies to Present a Unified Front

When there is more than one adult in the household, it becomes more complicated to have a consistent parenting strategy. There is no way that you can be there at every moment for your child. At some point, you have to clarify your approach to rules and consequences to the other adults in the home, and empower them to help you.

How you choose to empower the other adults in your home is your decision. We discuss some common scenarios, such as:

  • How to present a unified front to the child
  • What kind of discipline can be carried out in your absence
  • How to ensure cooperation between the adults in your home

Every household is different, and each one is the result of different parenting strategies. However, we will help you understand various methods that fit with your personality and preferences.